Red Sonja Rebirth: A Little Bland, A Lot of Fantasy!

Who doesn't love a good reboot? This time, the beloved figure of Red Sonja makes a cinematic re-entry, but, alas, it seems to fall a tad flat. Even Arnold Schwarzenegger's not-quite-revered 1985 rendition notches up a rung on the battle-ladder compared to the disappointing heroic escapade presented by MJ Bassett. Matilda Lutz, who turned heads with her performance in the equally stunning 2017's Revenge, sadly, can't make us fall head-over-heels for her Red Sonja.

The low-budget facelift surely hasn't done Red Sonja, the warrior extraordinaire, any grand favors. With quality that balks under the glare of big cinema screens, one can't help but feel the film would be cozier on the snugger cables of a TV screen. Despite its modest trappings, the movie did manage to grab a slot on the big screens, albeit only for one night, before hopping into the VOD wagon. Some may suggest that even that feels a tad overreaching.

Our fiery heroine, played by Lutz, dons the notorious chainmail bikini for her coliseum clashes. In a nod to modern sentiments, Lutz's Red Sonja maintains a healthy self-awareness about the impractical outfit. She 'liberates' herself from it as soon as an opportunity presents itself. We suspect that, lacking any real body armor, the charm of her outfits lie elsewhere.

In the halcyon days of Sonja's life, she frolicks with her trusty equine companion amidst the jaw-dropping beauty of a mythic forest. The peaceful co-existence with CGI-rendered prehistoric creatures shatters when the villainous Emperor Dragan the Magnificent, played by Robert Sheehan, captures and enslaves her. Enjoying the dubious company of fellow rebels, Sonja finds herself fighting gladiatorial skirmishes for her captor's entertainment.

Like any decent plot twist, Sonja's moral compass leads her to a face-off with a fearsome cyclops-much to the delight of the baying audience. Through a clever bit of beast whispering, she convinces the cyclops about the real villains of the tale. It's a hoot watching the Emperor's face change when the tables are turned.

The real treat, though, lies in the cheesy dialogue and countless sword fights. Who wouldn't enjoy apocalyptic battles amid pouring rain and roaring fires? Met with potential death, Sonja inches back from the brink, thanks to a divine intervention from her celestial mom (played by Veronica Ferres).

Kudos to Lutz for filling the boots of the towering Brigitte Nielsen with her remarkable physicality and commendable acting skills. She expertly navigates and conquers the absurd and cheesiness, except during an emotional climax with the Emperor, which falls filthier than a villain's smirk.

Trying to be a bit above the mundane, the film also attempts to weave in some messages on feminism and environmentalism into the larger narrative. However, even these well-intentioned messages fall short of saving this overcooked fantasy from a sense of dullness and prolonged mediocrity. A little bland to the taste, this dish could use a dash of cinematic spice!