Nanny Mayhem Revisited: Hulu’s ‘The Hand That Rocks the Cradle’ Remake

When we think back to the pulse-pounding 90s cinematic world, the gripping thriller ‘The Hand That Rocks the Cradle’ surely springs to mind. The late Curtis Hanson earned his reputation as a maestro of suspense with a portfolio that includes ‘The River Wild,’ ‘L.A. Confidential,’ ‘Wonder Boys, ’ and the gritty rite of passage drama, ‘8 Mile.’ All of these films still command our respect today.

However, Hulu's revamped take on 'The Hand That Rocks the Cradle,' piloted by Michelle Garza Cervera and penned by Micah Bloomberg, smells more like a needless remake rather than a loving homage. And, let's face it - the remake game can be sketchy. Remember 'The Women' (2008), 'Born Yesterday' (1993), or 'Swept Away' (2002)? Yeah, we tried to forget those too. But, hey, at least this remake hasn't muddied those dramaturgical waters.

Bloomberg's script fuses elements of traumatic history, victim-blaming, and a sprinkle of undercooked female tension into the original story, framing a duel of mental instability between the all-having mother and the babysitter from the dark side. But, dare we say, something was lost in translation?

Now, let's not forget that one of the crucial aspects of such a thriller is the sharp friend who uncovers the secret. Imagine replacing Julianne Moore's alluring performance as Marlene Craven with a more vanilla alternative? It's like swapping decadent chocolate cake for rice cakes.

In this modern retelling, expecting Mom, real estate attorney Caitlin Morales (played by Mary Elizabeth Winstead), meets the complicated Polly Murphy (portrayed by Maika Monroe) under less than glamorous circumstances as she fights for tenant rights. Polly later gets hired as a babysitter for Caitlin's expanding family, and that's when things start getting hairy.

Polly proves to be a wolf in sheep's clothing, introducing elements of chaos into Caitlin’s life - from messing with medication to neglecting Caitlin's healthy food choices for her daughters. Even with Polly acting like she's auditioning for the role of Creepy Nanny of the Year, she turns into an essential cog in Caitlin's life – so much so that she gets a seat at the family table.

Disappointingly, the nouveau remake doesn't take full advantage of the scenic contemporary house that seemingly begs for a thrilling episode or two. However, there is a hint of interesting nuance when sexual identities are hinted at, though sadly the plot development related to it is rather lackluster.

As the story progresses, Polly's suspicious behavior and exposure of Emma (Caitlin’s daughter) to potential danger starts prompting warning bells. Unfortunately, Caitlin’s concerns are brushed off by her husband Miguel (Raúl Castillo) as overblown post-partum blues, until it's nearly too late. A shame really, because we never tire of watching Castillo-he’s got a certain magnetic allure.

Cervera's film walks us through Polly's backstory bit by bit, but it dilly-dallies on revealing the crux of her resentment too long, which robs the audience of any suspenseful build-up.

By the time all the questions are answered, the slow burn pace combined with the underwhelming thrill factor championship seems to have won over the lightning-paced narrative that we’d traditionally expect from such a suspenseful film. While obviously a labor of love and effort, this remake doesn't manage to shake off an insipid Lifetime movie vibe.

Despite fitting the bill for their respective parts, Monroe seems less convincing as the predator while Winstead somehow fits snugly into the shoes of a troubled yet off-putting main character. Sadly, this revamp of our suspenseful 90s past doesn't quite justify its existence– it seems like a poignant reflection on the present film industry.

It's a stark contrast to the original, which not only topped the box office for a solid four weeks but also squeezed a neat profit with worldwide grosses of $140m on a shoestring budget of less than $12 million. It's a sad reality that this remake will probably have a rather short lifespan on Hulu before slipping into the streaming ether.